My mom was asked to speak at our big quarterly Relief Society Enrichment activity this Thursday night on Motherhood and how to raise children to have a high self esteem. Over the last few weeks I have thought about this topic and after tossing and turning in bed for the past few hours and not being able to sleep due to being super
nauseous and very pregnant here are some of my thoughts on the subject.
I usually lay in bed every night and am the very last one to fall asleep. If you could peak into our room you would see Robby and I laying in bed together,
Paden across from us in his toddler bed, Evan across from us in his crib, and a bassinet sitting next to me ready to be used. Yes, it's a little squished! Almost every night I think about what this might look like to others and how silly it would seem to them that I could love my life so much and that I could feel the most immense joy and gratitude to a loving Heavenly Father for blessing me in the best possible way...I truly do feel this way!
I've also thought about some experiences that I seem to have pretty regularly. One of them is standing at the checkout line at
Haggens. Robby and I are always there together trying to keep the boys quiet and from grabbing candy off of the shelf, as the checker rings us up. I hope you are trying to picture this. Then there is usually someone standing behind us in a hurry and it always seems to be a very beautiful and polished woman. She has her her hair done, the nicest clothes, and great matching bag and purse. The checker first VERY slowly goes through and checks off all of the items we get for free because of WICK (a wonderful program where you receive free diary type of products if you make under a certain amount) and then goes through and rings up the rest of our groceries. At this point I usually just want to die of embarrassment and get to the car as quickly as possible.
Another experience was a few days ago when Robby went downstairs to show the house that we are living above to another young lady to rent. This woman drove up in an
Escalade (my dream car) without even taking one step out she said, " Oh this place isn't for me. I am way too spoiled for this" and then drove off. I thought to myself it's a good thing we weren't showing her our place or she probably would have run away screaming!
So what does this have to do with the topic my mom was asked to speak on? I believe that there are many many ways to teach your children to have a high self esteem but the only way to really feel value comes from having a strong testimony in who you are. If I believed what the world teaches and that a person's value is based on her success in her career or schooling and even her appearance than I would most likely suffer from a low self image. Then, what if those things that I put my value in were taken away. How could I still have a high self esteem? The choices I have made in my life have been on purpose due to my testimony . My self esteem is strengthened when the Spirit testifies to my Spirit that I am living and doing the things that Heavenly Fathers wants me to be doing and that he is proud at the choices and sacrifices I make. That is a very powerful and empowering influence if you have this occur in your life.
A few months ago Robby was having a strong desire to be a better man and was praying about this (isn't he sweet) the answer he received was to serve me! He has always been a very helpful husband and really didn't need to improve in this area but that was his answer! He was to serve April. This strengthened not only my relationship with Robby but mostly that I have a Father in Heaven that loves, cares, and is aware of me personally! What greater value can you feel than this!!
Yes, it would be nice to have the money to look immaculate and to drive a nice car and live in a beautiful home but I KNOW that self esteem doesn't come from those things and that the greatest peace you can feel in this life is living one that your Father in Heaven is proud of. I am not perfect and struggle at times with my
responsibility as a mother but I know that what I am doing is right and if I center my life on Christ I can have the greatest self worth that a woman and Daughter of God could ever hope to have. How can you teach your children to have high self esteem? To teach them that gaining their own testimony is the most powerful thing you can do as a mother, and luckily I was blessed with that type of mother!
Let me know your thoughts, they will probably help my mom in her lesson and you all better be there on Thursday!